Memoirs of an Agnostic/Jerusalem Song // Sarisha Kurup

​Baby believes in the promise of eternity
Mama raised her a good Christian
(iamthefirstandiamthelastandbesidemethereisnogod)
but Baby doesn’t feel any closer to heaven
Baby read that Jerusalem is the nearest place to heaven on this earth
Yerushelaim—her Jewish boyfriend from college used to say
(thehistoryofjerusalemisthehistoryoftheworld)
Jews don’t marry non-Jews, he would say
drawing a line between them in the sand
one day you will see, one say you will be saved
Baby wonders if she needs saving
Mama says they are all sinners
Baby thinks Mama probably is
 
Baby’s next-door-neighbor reads the Qur’an aloud in evenings
Calling out to some God while Baby watches late night TV
Baby can’t read Arabic but she likes the way the lines flow
Somehow she doubts that that’s enough
Baby’s Jewish boyfriend from college went to Yerushelaim every year
Called it his birthright
Baby doesn’t get how you can own anything that was around before you were
Close a building around Abraham’s rock and call it your own
(gatewaytoheaven)
(terrestrialthresholdoftheeternalworld)
 
The world begins and ends in Baby’s ex-boyfriend’s vacation destination
That always makes her laugh—little inside joke with herself
She wonders if she’ll see him on Judgement Day
If they’ll be heading the same way
Probably not if Allah’s driving
Or if Jesus takes the wheel
(livinganddeadfaithfulandinfidel)
 
Baby doesn’t know what to believe
Too many voices, only two pearly ears
But Baby believes in it anyway
That inexplicable promise of something
The world aint cruel enough to end softly
(forebodingabouttheendoftime)
(dreamlikebeauty)


​Sarisha Kurup